Ok, so let's get right down to this. I want a scooter. Not this. Or this. I want one of these. Oh my gosh!!! Can you not already picture me on that thing with a matching helmet and some goggles a la Amelia Earhart?!
You sit there and try to tell me that wouldn't be cool. Quick sidenote, when I googled Miss Amelia here, I totally expected to get something more like the weird school lady played by Fiona Shaw in 3 Men and a Little Lady (shout out- Dan for the picture! PS he likes the Vespa. Ooops!)
Anyway, I'd rather look like Amelia. Moving on...
My most amazing, heroic, hot breakfast husband does not care for the idea of me operating anything motorized that only sits on just 2 wheels. In fact, I think the idea of me operating anything motorized makes him nervous period, which is probably why he leaves for work before me so that he doesn't have to watch me try to back out of that blasted parking spot every morning. I have been working on easing him into the idea of me commuting to work on a scooter, but he just doesn't like it. Give a girl some credit. Sure, I may cut my finger on bread knives causing us to spend 4 hours in the ER. Sure, I may forget where my keys are about 30 times a day, but I can ride a bicycle, so I think I can ride a scooter. Pure logic. Devin no likey.
HOWEVER!!! Last night, on his favorite TV Show, Jon and Kate plus 8 (sorry, baby, I may have just outed you), Kate got a dadgum custom painted scooter from the guys on Orange County Chopper or American Chopper or something about Choppers.
I thought for sure this would help him realize that if this frig of a woman (thank you Grandma Grandma) can drive a scooter in a skirt and wedges without a helmet on, then I can definitely commute 20 minutes to work on one in rush hour in the 4th largest city in the world. Right? RIGHT?! I have other points to make ( I feel like DJ Tanner when she made the presentation to Joey, Danny, and Uncle Jesse about why she deserves her own room).Reasons Steph Driving a Scooter is a Good Idea:
Number one: It saves money. More money means more bike parts and bibs and shoes since we can't seem to get those quite right!
Number two: It will make me even more attractive because I will look like a mysterious European woman (shout out- Kstan)
Number three: It is cool and so am I...
Number four: I can park closer to the hospital which means I don't have to ride a scary train with a bunch of criminals who just got out of 23 hour jail observation.
Number five: I am willing to get a different car like this one if I am driving a scooter to work everyday.
Number two: It will make me even more attractive because I will look like a mysterious European woman (shout out- Kstan)
Number three: It is cool and so am I...
Number four: I can park closer to the hospital which means I don't have to ride a scary train with a bunch of criminals who just got out of 23 hour jail observation.
Number five: I am willing to get a different car like this one if I am driving a scooter to work everyday.
Number six: Devin could ride with me and we could look like Lloyd and Harry in Dumb and Dumber, when Lloyd trades the Shaggin' Wagon for the mini scooter (shout out- Tacie).
Number seven: I could ride behind the love of my life when he bikes with supplies or at least zip between rest spots (shout out- Kstan). I would be his dadgum supply car! Tubes, water, Gu, frames, saddles- Whatever you need, I have it wrapped around me on my scooter. It doesn't get more pro than that.Number eight: I'm older. Kidding. If you've met Devin, you know that he is MUCH smarter than me despite being 2 years older/wiser/full of experience.
I need some comments on here to back me up. If you don't like the idea, no need to comment. We don't need any fuel for Devin on this one!! COME ON!!!
*disclaimer- Devin is very good to me and I am not whining or intending disrespect here- but seriously, I'd look cute on a scooter.
I have a few comments:
ReplyDelete1. I am first to comment. Muhahaha
drat.
ReplyDeleteGET ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So serious! You get one, and I will live vicariously through you. If I could figure out how to (safely) rig a carseat up to the back of one of those, I so would! However, that would totally take the "cool" factor right out of the scooter. So you sport the scooter, and Ill get the soccer mom car and be jealous. =) I refuse, I repeat, REFUSE to get a minivan though. :)
ReplyDelete--danielle
Sorry I wasn't quick enough, I had to mul...
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I should add to the bread knife statement__....4 hours in the ER.....(as well as miss Dan's Wedding Rehearsal and Dinner.) Yes it happened people, believe it...
Secondly: Oooooohhhhh Devin, she really threw you under the bus there. Man, JK+8....really, I thought that we moved forward in life. I thought we found better, healthier tv. I thought that you had mentally healed from draining your life away with that annoying, controling, bad example of a wife, Kat....for shame
- Kat might not be the best example here Steph. I mean I know Dev, and we hardcore ridicule people that wear flip flops/pumps/wedges/heels/chacos/whatever on a motorized vehicle.
- The woman is wearing a skirt on a scooter, I mean my God, have a little decency, think of the children, all eight of them. I mean I know she loves the Paparatzii these days, but really...
- And no helmet to boot, seriously what a bad example.
- And OCC really should change their name, aren't they in PA or somewhere on the East Coast?!?
I do have to admit I love the picture in my head of Dev on the road training and Stephanie following in the Vespa with a backup Tarmac frame and backup wheels custom mounted to the back.
- I think what also might help this process is if you custom print "Team Carroll" all over the Vespa,
- And of course have plentiful amounts of Gu
Lastly, since I am in the husband role/mindset I totally totally totally am thinking like Dev here, although I can very much picture Steph on a green Vespa from Katy that gets 90mpg, with a BA helmet, weaving through the worlds 4th terrible traffic like a champion messenger.
- Very good points Steph
- Dev...I'm in your head and you know it
I sense a trade....
Steel SS 29er anyone???????????????????
...continuing from my first post... I had to sneak in their early you know…
ReplyDeleteIn response to some of the reasons in favor of a scooter...
Reason six - means I would pee on you, or you on me, depending on who is driving... (you have to see the movie for this to make sense)
Reason seven - for all you roadies, this would mean some serious motor pacing sessions with my wife. Lets say it together m-o-t-o-r p-a-c-e. Absolutely guaranteed to make you faster on any bike. A definite perk of said scooter
Reason eight – She doesn’t think she is smart. not sure why? She (being my wife) is incredibly smart and capable of doing anything. They’re practically begging her to go to grad school so she can be eligible for a management position at the hospital.
Reason nine - I'm totally riding said scooter too. Depending on how we set up the terms of use, I might have to ask if it is her scooter….. but I will ride it.
Reason ten - She can ride a jet ski, and holds on like a champ when I’m at the helm doing 55mph on roufh water with both of us on there. So I have no doubt she is more than capable
I’m gonna stir the pot a little.
She doesn’t like it when I say things like you’re not riding in flip flops …or… jeans would be a good idea. She doesn’t debate the need for a helmet though. My whole thing is she would be perfectly safe on her own. It’s the other idiots in cages (cars) that I am most worried about. Motorcycles are not in most drivers paradigm (they don’t see cyclists either). It would be hard for me to get a call about an accident while commuting. Much harder than fielding a call from her telling me she had been rear-ended (in a car).
Buuuuut I hop on the streets of Houston regularly on the bike in those very same traffic lanes so…. Not entirely sure what leverage I have? I wear a helmet and close toe shoes every time? Spandex offers zero protection.
A scooter would be fun. It would be fuel efficient yes (though we only fill up Steph’s car like once every two weeks anyways). Its one of those things I believe this: “it’s not if you crash, it’s when, and how bad” So you dress for the crash not the ride (think about it, it makes sense). Having said that, looking like the Michelin man (in protective gear) on a scooter would defeat the purpose of having a quick hop and go vehicle… but doesn’t a car do that anyways? I sit on the fence.
Closing comments:
Said scooter would not be approved for highway use. Meaning, residential/city use only. We could both take an MSF motorcycle safety course…. And… Motorcycle licenses are required for an engine size greater than 49cc. That would either limit the scooter candidates or make the safety course mandatory (best way to get your motorcycle license, plus insurance discount).
A 29er SS would be a great trade!! Also, Steph doesn't have a road bike or a mountain bike yet. Shouldn't those be first on the list?
Viva Amelia...get a scooter!!!!
ReplyDeleteyou would ne the cutest scooter rider ever, I think its an amazing, fantastic idea. You would have to make sure you got the matching helmet as well. I say you go all out and get some rediculous and crazy looking. I have ridden one before and they are soooo much fun!!! DO IT DO IT. When this is purchased I want a ride ASAP. Come on Devin, you know you really want one as well!
ReplyDeleteCasey- POP
In response to crashing on said scooter- that's why husband installs an eject button. Problem solved.
ReplyDeletesheryl, you are a bad influence on your daughter:)
ReplyDeleteKate definitely is not helping your case.
my thoughts most closely mirror Devin's so no need to repeat...
so is there a parachute teamed up with said eject button?
First of all, Casey used my name. I have not commented yet. I would never say "fantastic idea and get the matching helmet". For sure, Steph knows me better than that.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I have already had a talk with my son-in-law about why I don't ever want them on a motorcycle (scooter incld). Since I am older than most of you, I have seen and known too many people that layed a scooter down or ran it right into a car and didn't win.
Third, I would like to tell Steph that this is not Europe!! and she has a screw loose even thinking about riding one. I had a flashback to when she tried to out run cars on Lake Houston Parkway on her pink bicycle only in the 6th grade! No helmet, no nothing.
I rest my case. (There will be no Christmas gifts, Devin if you let her get one).
--Lu (the meanest)
I think it's possible that some people did not read instructions! If you're not pro-scoot, I don't need the comments!
ReplyDeleteMom, just because you fell off a motorcycle while kicking a dog doesnt mean I will do the same. :)
I still think you would look dashing on a scooter. Like an impressive European woman, in the vein of Carla Bruni. Hair flowing in the wind (from under your helmet of course!)And somehow you would be able to toss water and GU with one hand to Devin, which he would always catch while riding his bike. But you wouldn't look like Kate. Oh no. I would not wish that hair cut on anyone.
ReplyDeleteSERIOULSY!!
ReplyDeleteSoon she will have no hair at all on the back of her head and one eye will be completely covered up by her bangs or whatever they are...