fatty fatty fail.

I’ve been doing a lot of baking lately. Husband hates it while he is training for his RACE AGAINST LANCE IN 3 DAYS!!!! but I love to do it. I just can’t stop and as a result, Devin feels like a fatty fatty no friends. Just don’t eat it, you might say? He would say erroneous.

One of the reasons I love to bake is this.

When I posted this picture, I made a high-pitched VROOOOOOOOOOOM sound. Out loud. Reminds me of this guy. This was our wedding gift from OV06. Tell me that thing is not your dream appliance and I’ll call you a liar. Best gift ever.

Do you see my cute apron in that picture?

Ok back to whatever I was posting about.

I made some sweet potato bread and it was delish dot com

The ingreeds. Or most of them. That’s one honkin’ sweet potato! Yum.

And behold.

How’s that for a step by step instruction?

Fine.

Here’s the recipe from Cooking Light

1/3 cup ground flaxseed

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 c fat free cream cheese, softened

3 tablespoons butter, softened

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

1/4 cup honey (I added a bit more)

1 large egg

1 large egg white

1 cup mashed sweet potato

cooking spray

1. Preheat oven to 350

2. Combine flax, flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. Make a well in the center of the mixture. Beat cream cheese and next 5 ingredients, stir in sweet potato. Add to flour mixture, stirring just until moist.

3. Spoon batter into a loaf pan coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350 for 50 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes in pan, and cool completely on wire rack.

It should look perfect like mine. Ha!! I drizzled some honey on top. Devin liked his warm with cinnamon and sugar on it. I liked mine with coffee because I like everything with coffee.

So, what sort of transition can I use for the next item on this post?

How about this: sometimes I am the worst baker in the history of the United States of America.

I was looking through one of the cookbooks I got as a wedding gift. My good friend, Janice, (you may remember her from the hot sauce post) gave me her family favorites cookbook and I found a recipe for pumpkin cookies. Pumpkin cookies! How different! How fun! HOW I LOATHE THEM!!!

Ingreeds. Looks fun, right?! WRONG.

Just minding my business, following the recipe, being super excited for pumpkin cookies.

Then I go to roll it out…and…

Yeah. Sick me out. No amount of flour could have made this dough stop sticking to everything it touched. Martha wouldn’t even know what to do, I guarantee it.

Have I mentioned that the pictures here are of the THIRD TIME I TRIED TO MAKE THESE DADGUM COOKIES?!?! So, I wasn’t about to waste this third (and final) batch. I threw that slop in a pan and cooked it like a cake.

And then I informed Devin that he had to taste it.

So he smells it first?

The “make a funny face so she doesn’t think I hate it”

and then I didn’t get the the picture of the projectile vomiting.

Janice, if I were you, I would kick whoever submitted this recipe into your family secrets cookbook OUT OF THE FAMILY.

I’m just bitter that I can’t bake. Actually, people, I can bake. It’s just that pumpkin cookies with delicious orange glaze icing don’t actually exist. Oh, Lord love a duck…I do not lie to you…as I was writing this, Real Simple Magazine emailed me a recipe for pumpkin cookies.

They’re liars.

Me- 0, Pumpkin cookies- 3.