2.14

On Sunday, Valentine's Day, the alarm for church will go off, and I will try with every puny muscle in my body to hold on to DC so we don't have to get out of bed.  Partially because, being the human furnace that he is, if he gets up, I will freeze.  Mostly because those lazy morning moments are my favorite.  But he'll wrestle out of my grip and get up.  To start my coffee.  I married the right man.

I'll wait until I hear the coffee pot beep, and I will shuffle through our freezing apartment with my sheep slippers on.  He'll be on the couch watching cartoons and I'll smile at his hair.  Must have been a crazy journey he had last night.  (DC moves around so much at night, I am convinced he is Frodo Baggins mixed with a sumo wrestler mixed with a 3rd grade A.D.D. kid who just found mom's candy jar, in his dreams).  I'll plop down next to him, coffee in hand, head on his lap, and there won't be a single place I'd rather be than there.

We'll go to church and he will graciously sit on the front row with me in our class with 80 other newlywed couples, and just like every single week, I'll look around, and then I'll stare at him the way Nanny, my grandma, blatantly stares at strangers, flashing back to the first Valentine's Day that Devin was in my life:

DC and I had just "re-met" each other about 2 weeks prior in College Station, Texas.  On this February 14th, my dad had just had a pretty intense foot surgery and I spent the night in the hospital with him (talk about the best commute ever.  Wake up, shower, walk downstairs to work).  DC sent me a message that said something like, "Oh, dude, forgot...Happy Valentine's Day".  Swoon.  He so wanted me.

Then the 2nd Valentine's Day that I sat at my parents' kitchen table with the most beautiful diamond ring I had ever seen on my finger eating $.50 filet mignon (that's 50 cents, not 50 dollars.  the funds were limited, mkay?  see debt post.  no have, no spend) and being scared out of my ever loving mind that I would be standing at the altar promising my life to this man in less than 2 months.  I could tell he wasn't so concerned as he hoovered that steak without taking a single breath.

and I will smile and thank my generous God for giving the ever-so-undeserving me the best man in that room.

Hands down.  No contest.

He provides for me in a way I never ever thought a man would.

He protects me.  He protects my heart.

He genuinely cares about the things I want. But more about the things I need. Even if he doesn't understand.

He thinks I could do anything.  He really does think that.  And he is teaching me to think that.  And I am so grateful for that alone.  That he has taught me how to love me without reservation.

He constantly tries to understand me more.  So he can give me more.

And this man loves me so that it consumes the full capacity of my heart.

I can't say I am the luckiest girl in the world.  Because luck has nothing to do with it.  God gave him to me, and I will hold that concept in my hands and my heart so gingerly until the day I die.  And I hope someday I will be able to wrap my head around why God did that for me.  Maybe he'll never show me.  So today and the days to come, I will just get on my knees and thank Him for making Devin my hero.

We'll come home from church and enjoy our Sunday, just like any other Sunday; full of rest, cooking, laughter, being outside and naps.  And we'll start another week.  Another day.  Every day is new and different.  And every day we grow together.  Get more used to each other.  Care less about the little things that used to drive us crazy.

Love does that to you.  It makes you care less about the things.

On that gorgeous April day, I started the most difficult part of my entire life.  Marriage has been hard.  And it has been painful.  And changed me in every way I needed to be changed.  It still is.

I love Devin Michael with my entire being.  I fall asleep wondering how much more I could love this man, and I wake up speechless at how much more I do.

He has enchanted my heart.  And I like it.

Happy Valentine's Day