This may be a dumb post, but I wouldn’t have written it if my girlfriend didn’t bring it up last week

When my best friend from high school got married, we threw her a wedding shower.  And no one ever got a thank you note.  And everyone was asking me why they hadn't received one.  That was fun.

I wouldn’t call it a pet peeve.  More of a feelings hurter.  When you don’t send a Thank You for something major (not everything- that would be annoying), it’s a big feelings hurter.

That person spent their Saturday morning waiting in line at the Bed Bath & Beyond customer service to have your registry list printed out for them.  And when they found the thing on the list in their price range that they wanted to get for you, it was sold out.  Then they spent 35 minutes looking for their second choice only to find that it was the last one they had, and it was broken.  So they picked 4 smaller gifts, spending another 45 minutes looking for all of them.  Then they waited in line to check out where some lady ran into their heel with her cart.  Then they realized they left their coupons in the car, and now it was out of their price range, but they decided they would just go ahead and get it all after all of the frustration.  Then they wait 25 minutes for gift wrapping.  And they lug it to your wedding.

When we got married, DC hated writing these.  He re-thought marriage solely because he may have to write a couple Thank You's.  Note: he wrote 2.  Out of a trillion.  One of the reasons he hates doing it so much is that he doesn't "know how" to write one.  He thinks they're awkward and fake.  And I found out that this is more common than I thought.  And maybe this will help.

For one, it helps to get some cute stock to send out.

I like these

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and these

 

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and these

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and these

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and these

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For our wedding, we made up our guest list into an excel spreadsheet and kept track of who was coming, who sent a gift, what it was, and I would mark it as I wrote the notes.  That way it's not overwhelming and you can make sure you get everyone.  This would work for a graduation or shower too.  Most registries have a thank you manager as well.  So easy.

And then, really, this is all you have to do.

Dear So and So McAwesome,

Thank you so much for the ________.  I / We cannot wait to use it in/for / It will go great with  __________.  I / We are really thankful for your generosity.  Thank you so much for thinking of me/us or thank you so much for sharing our day with us.

Regards,

Thankful Person

But I totally get that sometimes you just don't know what you can say.  DC and I got one of these for a wedding gift, and this is the note we wanted to send:

Dear What the Heck,

Thank you so much for the umbrella light.  Perhaps someday when we have a home with a deck and an outdoor table, we will be able to buy an outdoor umbrella and then and only then will we be able to put this to use if people don't think it's weird.  Until then, thank you for the closet space taker-upper.

Did you see our registry,

Us

Naturally, I thought this may not go over well the next time she saw my mother, so we made it work.  Because as cheesy as it is, it really is the thought that counts.  They thought about you and what you might like, they spent their money and cant-get-it-back time to give it to you.  In my case, I spent weeks planning this shower for my girlfriend, cleaning my place, bought food and drinks and flowers and a gift.

That same best friend sent me an email one day with an ultrasound picture.  I threw her a baby shower.  No one got a thank you note even though I addressed the envelopes for her.  Granted, she did have a seizure while on a business trip resulting in an early "birth" but, girl, get your priorities straight.  I can say all of this because she doesn't read my blog.  Oh and because I have already said it all to her face.