Well this looks familiar.

Dad, brothers, husband…poor little bunnies.

Keep on Rockin’ in the Free World

Well, here’s somethin’…

Lu took me to a concert this past summer (more like bribed me with riches and power and other things people bribe people with) that I didn’t think I would ever go to.

I was the youngest woman there by 20 years. I don’t think there were any men there.

And I loved it. LOVED IT!

Top 5 best concerts I have ever been to.

I grew up listening to oldies…I’ve been jammin’ to his stuff since I was 3 years old and didn’t even know it. He’s one of those guys that sings every song you know, but when you hear his name, you can’t name a dadgum song he’s done.

He’s so hard core.

He is…

Rod Stewart.

WHAT?! Check his kicks. So hot. Look at those moves (my brother Alex does a similar one) and tell me you don’t swoon for Rod. K, seriously the worst dancer in the history of British singers coming to America, but at least he embraces it. Actually, I think that was the best part of the concert- watching him dance knowing he can’t.

Sorta like when my friend Clay told my friend Tacie to dance:

“Tacie, look at Steph. She’s a terrible dancer, but she’s dancing”

Thanks?

Anyway, Rod Stewart, I’m not kidding, puts on the most entertaining show ever. THIS MAN KICKED SOCCERBALLS INTO THE CROWD FOR A FULL SONG. You won’t see that anywhere else.

You haven’t heard rock and roll until you’ve rocked with Rod.

I’m not even trying to be funny.

Editor’s Correction

[A breakfast conversation]

Me: Did you read the blog yesterday?

Devin: Yes.  And for the record, I got a helicopter last year.

Me: Oh.  Did you break it?

Devin: Pshh. [head nod] Yeah.

I stand corrected.

No excuses, play like a champion

We got a letter from the Houston Food Bank yesterday, and though I do not expect you to give to every organization I post, I can gladly say that you now have absolutely zero excuses for not giving to an organization this season.  This is some frugal giving, y’all.

Devin knows I would literally give money to every organization (I think it worries him) that contacted me if I believed in the cause.  For example, one that didn’t work was some letter with a picture of a fox that said something about his quality of life.  I don’t know any foxes personally, therefore, the letter’s persuasion did not swoon me. 

Instead of giving money, Devin and I are doing some work at The Houston Food Bank this Saturday, but they need your donations as well.  Get this: They are asking for anything, and I mean anything.  A mere $3 will feed a person 3 meals through their organization.  Try to tell me you don’t have $3 and I’ll tell you to put down the coffee /slice of Cheesecake Factory cheesecake that is costing you 1,079 calories (believe it) /pretzel from the corner that tastes like a taxi ran over it. 

If you don’t have $3, please email me.

They need volunteers all the time, and it is super easy to sign up on their website. 

If you don’t live in Houston, look for your local food bank or mission.  You can donate food, money, or time, and I promise you will be blessed by it.  We are really looking forward to working with HFB on Saturday morning.

When I was hungry, you gave me something to eat, and when I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink. When I was a stranger, you welcomed me, and when I was naked, you gave me clothes to wear. When I was sick, you took care of me, and when I was in jail, you visited me."

Then the ones who pleased the Lord will ask, "When did we give you something to eat or drink?  When did we welcome you as a stranger or give you clothes to wear or visit you while you were sick or in jail?"

The king will answer, "Whenever you did it for any of my people, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did it for me."

Matthew 25:35-40

Leave a comment with your favorite organization to donate to or volunteer with.

PERFECT PRESENT #3

Today, we have one for the guys.  Ladies, I promise you, as in I swear on my entire precious life, that this gift is fail-proof.  There is not one male on this earth that will not like this.  Mark my words.  Stamp the Steph guarantee on it.  I am telling you, I will be flooded with thank you notes for giving you this morsel of knowledge.

PERFECT PRESENT #3

Remote. Control. Helicopter. 

Feast your eyes on this man machine

So, Christmas of, oh, every single year, my mother buys my dad and two brothers one of these.  My strategy is to make sure they open my gifts before they get to this one, because as soon as they rip open the packaging and see those batteries taped to the box holding this beauty, forget the 197 inch TV or the Ferrari in the driveway that I got them.  They want the helicopter and only the helicopter.  Don’t even bother them with stockings, Christmas lunch, wine, beer, football, nothing!  They’re busy playing with their man toy. 

But really, there is nothing funnier than when I am sitting upstairs in my parent's’ house and all of the sudden this predator soars over the banister from the entryway downstairs. 

What’s not funny is when Zach chases me around the house with his toy from the comfort of the couch.  Or worse, when all three (soon to be four when Devin gets one this year) boys do it at the same time.

But ladies, let me give you a hint.  Do not spend more than, say, $15 on your helicopter.  I mean, you want it to actually work, but anyone of the male species will break it within twelve hours.  Stamp that guaranteed, too.  You know boys, always trying to push the limits and see what else a toy (that is definitely not made to fly a 19lb. cat around the house) can do.  This is why my mom has to buy new ones every year.

You can find these at the most random places like Bed, Bath, and Beyond, Stein Mart, gas stations (probably) and I am sure at Wal-Mart and/or Target. 

TOY HELICOPTER PERFECT FOR: any male ages 3-97 whose heart you wish to win over; any guy you wish to keep busy/out of your hair for at least half a day.

Oh, OH! blue chair!

You have ripped open my chest

and stolen my heart.

That room.

That room with the endless books on the homemade shelves.

With the chair.

The blue chair.

In the corner all by its lonesome.

Worn perfectly…not too much, not new at all.

Why can’t it be mine?

Why does this person own my chair?

Thanks to La La Lovely for dangling it right in front of me.

Santa-husband, I love these shelves.

For someday.

And the chair, of course.

A Post of Randoms

I added some pictures to my Friday post below…we had a beautiful weekend in Houston only to be followed by a Monday full of rain and gloom. Womp womp.

Whatever has a link to the Etsy shop for Water4Christmas. Everything purchased from that shop goes to give clean water to the people in Liberia. Check it out, get some good stuff for Christmas. I got the coffee cozy. So cute. So cheap. You can afford it. They also have super cute kids tshirts with an outline of Africa on it- I love them, so there’s somethin’ for all you baby mamas.

Star of Hope needs some moolah to feed the homeless this Thanksgiving. $16.55 can feed FIVE people some turkey and goods where they would normally eat garbage...not like bad for you McDonalds garbage, but like seriously garbage. I am pretty sure Devin and I spent more than $16.55 on 4 pieces of pie when we treated our friends at House of Pies on Saturday night. You can feed 5 people. Or more. Check out the different donation options. Do it to it!

Devin’s coworker sent Devin home with some eggs on Friday.

I just thought they were really fun…pink, brown, blue…all different colors, some with freckles, straight from the coop. As we informed my friend from the northeast this weekend, eggs do not come out of the chicken stark white.

I told you it was all random.

Chips and Salsa

Dinner with really fun friends

Gorgeous weather

Exercise

Friend from DC and her male friend, clearly not her boyfriend

Being outside as much as possible

Reckless Kelly

Little brother

Dancing

Sunday morning

New friends

Some R&R

A perfect weekend.

List Makers

Allie made her list.

See it here.

I love every single one!

I hope you’re working on your list!!

PERFECT PRESENT #2

Like I said earlier this week, Christmas is fast approaching and we all need ideas for what to get our families and friends.  And so…

THE PERFECT PRESENT #2

The Rope of Hope

It’s not a great picture, but it’s all I have to work with. 

The thing is, this gift is less about the necklace and more about the initiative.

Rahab’s Rope is an organization that fights human trafficking, particularly focused on women, in India.  If you have been reading for a while, you know I have a heart for the less fortunate (Christmas is coming!  The season of giving!  Get your wallets out!), but also for women in this exact situation.  Devin and I sponsor 4 kids from India through Compassion International, and to think of one of my sweet girls that sends me drawings of flowers and bumble bees ending up where these women are…it just breaks my heart.  Melissa Fitzpatrick says it well in describing her time in India with Compassion:

The theology of human worth and dignity that is so essential to the Christian message is so desperately needed in a country like India that is primarily Hindu.  [We need] to instill a sense of meaning and purpose that is so crucial for these women

So, Rahab’s Rope serves that very purpose: to give hope and opportunity to women and girls that have been forced into the commercial sex trade of India by providing a safe and loving environment that will enable them to grow and develop both physically and spiritually.

On Christmas, Rahab’s Rope is throwing a party and inviting all women of the community in for a full day of being cared for.  In making a donation and getting this necklace for a friend or family member, you are also giving a woman in India a meal, a new dress, various items she may need, and hope.  When you make a donation of at least $20, you are buying her hope.

Still not sold?  Check out the facts from the Rahab’s Rope website:

• Trafficking in human beings is now the third-largest moneymaking venture in the world, after illegal weapons and drugs.
• Each day in India nearly 200 girls and women are forced into the sex trade.  Every. Day.
• The birth of a girl is often a burden and she is not fed properly, loved or educated
• Mortality and suicide rates for Indian women are among the highest in the world.
• As many as 50,000 women and children from Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe are brought to the U.S. under false pretenses each year and forced to work as prostitutes, abused laborers or servants (Joel Brinkley NYT citing CIA report).
• Approximately 80 percent of human trafficking victims are women and girls, and up to 50 percent are minors. (U.S. Department of State)
• The total market value of illicit human trafficking is estimated to be in excess of $32 billion. (U.N.)
• Sex trafficking is an engine of the global AIDS epidemic. (U.S. Department of State)

This year, maybe we can make an effort to buy things of purpose instead of things we’ll be tired of by January.

THE ROPE OF HOPE PERFECT FOR:  Your sweet grandma, your kid’s favorite teacher, your babysitter, your neighbor, a Christmas party gift, a stocking stuffer, a friend, a stranger in India

Two words: wife. points.

You may be thinking to yourself, “I wonder how Steph got to be such a cool and funny person?”  Right?  You were totally thinking that!  Well, every morning, I stick a piece of bologna in my shoes…nevermind. I refuse to make the same jokes as my dad.

I’m not really that cool or funny, but the fact of the matter is, I rule at being a wife.  Stop laughing.

Reason (the one and only reason, I guess): I am going to see this tonight with Devin. 

I know, I can’t believe it either.  I mean, I like bikes and I love to ride mine and would love to have a mountain bike someday, but I am about riding them to have fun and cannot comprehend the technical stuff or the racing strategy.  So, it’s sort of like how I watch baseball- I just watch and don’t listen to the announcers.  With this, I will just watch and make an idiot out of myself yelling for Lance to PEDAL!!!! the way I yell at Devin at races.  The only difference is Devin can hear me when I do it. 

Maybe I’ll bring my cowbell to get in the spirit.  No?  Too much?

Anyway.

I had other plans tonight (don’t ask me what they were because they were less than exciting.  Fine, they were lame and this is not lame). 

…but because it is a ONE NIGHT ONLY event resulting in this documentary being wiped off the planet so Devin can never see it again, and he would cheat on me with a bicycle if he could, AND because he has successfully brainwashed me into being somewhat interested in cycling, I choose to go see a documentary about some insane mountain bike race that sorta kinda features some other 6 time champion, but conveniently follows Lance the majority of the time. 

And I guess when I say let’s go to a movie sometime, I can’t be picky.

But I won’t lie- I’m very excited to hang with him, half-way excited to see the movie, and really hoping that the A&M Cycling Team list-serve will please discuss this tomorrow at length so that Devin can get it all out.

In return, Devin has promised to buy me a scooter. 

He just doesn’t know it until right about now when he’s reading this like everyone else.

It’s all about give and take, you guys.

And speaking of cycling, if you’re into it, check out http://fitbottomedgirls.blogspot.com/ for a short interview with Chris Carmichael.  And if you’re a girl, read it daily.  It’s one of my favorite fitness blogs designed for women.  Good stuff.

64 Sleeps

You guys, Santa is sneaking up on us like the little devil he is.

Christmas is in 65 days!  64 sleeps!  I had no idea and am now in panic mode. 

Wait…not really…panic mode was more like when the roach crawled across my foot and bit the crap out of me this morning and Devin wasn’t home to mutilate it.  Don’t worry.  I handled it as any Proverbs 31 Woman would do.  Or Rachel Watters!  This is irrelevant.

Christmas is right around the dad-gum corner, and if you’re like any other human being I know, you haven’t a clue what to get anyone in your family. 

Cue my magnificent gift ideas.  From now until Christmas, I will provide unto you heaps of suggestions for presents for the whole family (including the weird hairy guy that comes every year and expects very expensive things and we’re not even 100% sure he’s related so we just wrap up his whole underwear drawer a week before and give it to him signed from Frisky the cat…this may or may not have happened in my family). 

You should be on your knees thanking the good Lord that you read my blog.  All 5 of you.

THE PERFECT PRESENT #1

The Moustache Calendar.

Don’t act like you’re not intrigued, for this thing is a true work of art.  A photography genius and a beautiful and extremely talented artist (I sound like I know them or like they shot my wedding or something) teamed up with some students at Rhode Island School of Design to create the 2010 “Sex-Confident” Moustache Calendar.  Don’t freak out moms who read this; here is the def for the coming year’s calendar theme:

sex-confident
[seks-kon-fi-dehnt] –adjective

1. Realistic confidence in one's power and ability to attract the opposite sex: A dignified, stylish, or simply well-worn moustache is the sign of a sex-confident male.
2. Having no uncertainty about one's own sexuality or sexiness:
A well moustachioed man is unquestionably sex-confident.

I don’t know about the other women reading this, but that definition right there makes me want to grow a stache.  No?  Just me?  What?  You just paid to have yours removed?

So, do some early shopping and check some guys off of your list!  You can go here to scope out some of the calendar’s featured hairy-upper-lip models, and here to order your moustache calendar (or two).

MOUSTACHE CALENDAR PERFECT FOR: your grandpa who will look at the featured facial hair, chuckle, stick his finger in his ear, and wax the ends of his own stache; your college-aged brother (because they all tend to think facial hair is the greatest, manliest gift from God); your son who wishes he could grow facial hair; any woman who has an abnormal amount of facial hair but a great sense of humor.

Commute

This is just an iPhone snap-a-roo as I rolled through the Rice campus this morning on my bike.

I love this part of the ride- when I get to slow down on the last leg of the 6.4 miles in.

It was simply beautiful this morning. I love when Texas decides to cool off.

I work for the hospital that decided that Titanic was a fabulous inspiration for their new building.

Hope that doesn’t come back to bite them…

Oof.

Happy Tuesday!

27 Things To Do Before I’m 27

I love to make lists.
Grocery lists, to-do lists, packing lists (although I despise the packing)
I love it. And often I will write something down that I have already done just so I can cross it off of my list.
Call it cheating or whatever…I’m not here to be judged.
A while back, when Devin and I were dating, I found this website and made a list of my own. That website is pretty cool - if there is something you want to achieve, but don’t know how, you can search that somethin’-somethin’ and it will show people who once had that on their list and accomplished it, i.e. I had put a goal to ride my bike to work, and when I did it, I wrote about how I did it.
Anyway, Meg’s post has her list of 35 things before she turns 35, and I had been working on mine, so I went back to my original (some of them were really dumb, you guys) and collaborated it with new things I want to do.

And behold.

Twenty Seven things to do before

I’m Twenty Seven

(because I turn 26 in January and I don’t need that pressure)

1. Redesign the blog. Or pay someone whose name rhymes with Frett Farnell BIG BUCKS to do it for me

2. Finish a whole crossword puzzle and not the one in the middle of Highlights magazine

3. Join a book club – actually go to a book club meeting

4. Me and Dev + Sunshine + Sail boat (kayaks count)

5. Do some work at Lifehouse

6. Surprise husband with a weekend trip. Muahaha!

7. Get my computer fixed, re-download software, re-download iTunes, and transfer songs and contacts from my old iPhone to my new iPhone. (Anyone need a laptop?)

8. get my personal training license

9. Be somewhere I have never been

10. Paint a masterpiece while enjoying some vino at Pinot and Picasso

11. Go on a trip with LU

12. two words: new job

13. Get a library card

14. Take a cooking class at Central Market

15. Do one pull up

16. Write something for publication

17. Spend time with God in the mornings

18. Make some new friends

19. Buy something that’s not on sale that I don’t have a coupon for that is more than I would normally pay for something that is just for me.

20. Learn how to use my camera, and do a shoot for someone...just one person will do.

21. Run a 5K? 10K? One of the two…OR BOTH! Don’t laugh, I’m not a runner.

22. Learn some sign language

23.Take the train from Durango to Silverton. Or, I'll settle for any train ride

24. Memorize 27 verses

25. Eat Mushrooms (the food, you big bunch of crazy hippies) because I hate them more than anything in this nasty, messed up world, but I hear I am missing out.

26. Another OV06 Reunion

27. Host a day at the lake

What’s on your list?

That purse is pugly.

On Friday, Allie and I escaped the dungeons that we work in and ventured downtown to Macy’s via lightrail. I needed some of the fresh, cool air that the “cold front” brought in Thursday night, and Allie needed to pick up a gift. We found the goods she was looking for and moved on to the shoes and purses.

Overbearing Close-talking Saleswoman: Can I help you find something?

Me: Uh, the Guess purses?

Saleswoman: We do not carry Guess purses at the downtown store.

Allie [in a weird, excited, witchy voice from about 10 feet behind me]: BUT THEY CARRY PUH-UHG PURSES!!!!!

And I turned around to see this.

But I guess to fully comprehend her obsession, you need to meet her pseudo-child.

THIS! is Tootie. Good. gracious.

Santa, you can put one of those on my list.

(The dog, not the pugly purse)

Forever Young

These two crazy kids have a birthday tomorrow.

Both parents.

Same birthday.

Still young.

Happy Birthday Lu and Bear!

Let the party begin!

Things I Bought That I Love- The Food Edition

Welcome to the 2nd Things I Bought That I Love post! See the first one here.

Today, I present to you: Food I Bought That I Love.

(Prepare yourself for the worst pictures ever taken in the history of the camera).

MOTT’S 100% JUICE POPSICLES

Remember when you were a kid, and you’d throw yourself on the Crocodile Mile for the 47th time, run into the house cutting your feet on the sharp grass, and grab one of these in-between slip-n-slide runs?

Who didn’t love Pop-Ice? If you say you didn’t, I say you were probably one of those kids who played Nintendo every split second of every summer day, and now you have terrible vision. Or you were the weird kid with every food allergy possible. Or you’re a liar. Every kid in America loved to suck the last few drops of lime juice through the plastic tube. Now that I’m an adult,I can’t really afford to put 64g of sugar in my body all at once not to mention the artificial coloring/flavors and the chemicals they use to make these. But, I still love a good popsicle.

I told you the pictures were awful! Gah!

Mott’s makes 100% juice, no artificial flavor/coloring, 100% deliciousness in my mouth. They have 4 flavors, (my favorite is apple), and we eat about 3 of these every night (Devin- 2 1/4, me- 3/4, or a whole one if I can eat it fast enough before Devin gets to mine). The only problem with these is we have only found them at Costco. However, if you aren’t a member at Costco, for a small service and delivery fee, we’ll get you some, too.

KALE

Don’t gag quite yet.

I have a really fabulous sister-in-law for about a million reasons, but one of them is that she taught me how to make kale and make it g-o-o-d. I was never into the stuff, mostly because I never thought to buy some and try it, but Amy has me hooked.

Kale can be found in the produce section near the bunched spinach (not the bagged kind), bok choy, collard greens, etc. It comes in a huge bunch and is super cheap. You could probably find this at a farmer’s market, too. Kale is a great source of fiber, protein, gives you TONS and I mean TONS of Vitamin A and lots of Vitamin C (to fight off any H1N1). It is also by far the dirtiest produce I have ever purchased in my life, so make sure you wash it really, really well.

I washed the Kale (about 3 times) and let what I wanted to eat dry on a paper towel. Side note: We keep our greens fresher longer by washing them and putting them in these bags. We also have one of these. They really work. Kudos to Mrs. Thomas and Nikki for one of many stellar bridal shower gifts.

Put the kale on the little baking sheet for your toaster oven (I say this like I assume you have one, but another thing I never did until I married Devin was use a toaster oven. I never owned one. Stop judging me, and if you don’t have one, I think the regular oven on broil will work fine). Cover it with a little bit of olive oil and salt. Stick it in on 400 degrees for as long as you like (the longer, the crispier)

There you have it. One thing to note- it looks like a ton of kale when you are prepping it, but it shrinks and you may end up wanting more, so go ahead and pile it on when you’re putting it on the baking sheet. Amy eats hers with an egg on top, or with some delicious soup. After I ate this first helping and had Devin try it (he loved it, as he loves anything that is edible), he begged me to make more with an egg on top. It was superb.

EDAMAME

I have loved edamame for a very long time. Here I go again on the health info, but edamame is an excellent source of protein with very little extras, meaning, sometimes when you find something that is a great protein source (or anything else), you often get a lot of sugar added, or a lot of saturated fat, or a bazillion carbs etc. Not with edamame.

This is seriously in my top 5 favorite snacks ever.

So, once again, Costco comes through. For the record, we never really shop there- maybe once every 2 months when we need more popsicles and edamame, and once every 6 months when we need more toilet paper…because that is how long it lasts us. That place is unreal, though- I walk around wondering for what occasion someone may need to buy 8 gallons of mayonnaise all at once. Sick me out dot com. Anyway, Costco carries these:

It is a huge box, but inside are twelve of these little containers:

They are already portioned out for me, and all I have to do is cut a slit in the top and microwave for about 2 1/2 minutes. It is so much easier than buying a $4.00 bag of edamame from the grocery store and feeling like I need to cook it all at once. Also, I started taking these to work (wrap them in foil to keep them cold, and when I get to work, I stick them in a freezer until I am ready for them) and they make a great mid-day wake me up snack. The great thing about edamame is it really fills you up without the consequences, and it provides an energy boost.

I don't know if any other store sells these, so again, we will purchase them for you for a small fee.

CRAVE Cupcakes

Before you think I really am obsessed with completely healthy foods, well, I am to an extent, and maybe I wouldn’t say obsessed. However, I am really blessed to be married to someone who has the same eating habits/preferences as I do. It makes life easier.

But, I like a good treat every now and then, especially after a tough spin class like this particular day. Cue Crave Cupcakes.

Crave is a Houston cupcake shop that has perfected the cupcake art.

I sent a couple dozen of these to Devin’s office for his birthday last year, and THAT is how you win some hearts, people.

Cassie and I took Avery to Crave last weekend. It’s really fun for kids because they can watch them making the cupcakes from the outside window, and it’s like an old-time slash modern (figure that out) bakery on the inside. Stainless steel mixers (like mine thanks to OV06), bakers hats and aprons, cupcake displays…so nostalgic.

I loaded up on some for Devin (on the top is carrot cake and strawberry, on bottom is lemon and chocolate on vanilla).

Look at those little muffin-tops-o-heaven.

I’ll have you know I only had half of the carrot cake cupcake

…best decision of my life.

Naturally, they made Avery happy.

She had the chocolate on vanilla

And then she felt guilty for eating it…

Yeah, right.

Crave has certain cupcakes that they make on certain days, so scope out their website for the daily menu.

They also have great coffee, so you know I’m sold.

Go check them out. You won’t be sorry unless you eat too many and end up looking like this kid (Thanks Zach)

JJ

Dear JJ Heller,

This morning, on my way into work, I heard your song on the radio- the DJ had heard one song of yours on So You Think You Can Dance- they don’t normally play you.

And I fell in love with your indie sound, your deep heart, your focused and purposeful lyrics…

And I looked for more of your stuff

and found this

and it speaks good words to me.

Thank you for making music, JJ.

www.JJHeller.com/music.asp

Love.

Monday, I had an interview, and as a result I had to dress like a librarian mixed with a female police officer (the picture is from one of my favorite shows I never watch, Police Women of Broward County…they bring some hotness into the hot mess I looked like Monday morning).

+  

Monday Morning:

Me: Dev, do I look [super butch]?

Devin: [laughs and says nothing]

Tuesday morning:

Devin: Remember when you asked me if you looked [really butch] yesterday?

Me: Yes?

Devin: Well…you look GREAT today.

 

He has sweet ways of being subtle.

Thank You, Arthur Wellesley, for Being Fashion Forward.

If it weren’t for the first Duke of Wellington, we would have wet feet.

Thank you, your dukedness, for Wellies.

In writing this post, I learned that in South Africa, they actually do a gumboot dance- check it out here. And now, possibly my favorite part of the Beatles Love show makes sense.

If you have not seen this show, fly to Vegas right this second.

GET UP!! DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS POST, AND GO TO VEGAS.

If the world ended tomorrow, you would regret not seeing this, and I would regret not seeing it twice. Stupendous.

I have been searching for gumboots for a while now. Houston weather is very unpredictable and can leave me sunbathing in the morning* and trudging through a flooded parking lot in heels in the afternoon. However, my rain boot search has left me empty-handed thus far.

Target has a plethora of galoshes:

The bird ones are pretty cute, right? I liked them a lot- I liked the gray, I liked the retro design, I liked the cute bird, and so I ordered them. What’s not cute about them?

1. They stink to high heaven like hot rubber and burnt hair

2. They are WAY too big for my chicken feet/legs (words of wisdom- don’t Google chicken feet. You’ll regret it) and when I went to return them online, it turns out they don’t have them in my size. Perfect

3. That cute little pink bird is actually sitting on a pistol. What the crap?!

So, I have to return my boots and I am on a mission for new ones because I refuse to continue walking into work looking like I walked through the Red Sea before Moses parted it.

Side note: I will not be choosing to wear these instead**…

Rain, shine, dust storm…I would rather be barefoot. Seriously, ladies of the Lone Star State, these are the opposite of hot***. I did a totally legit survey and here is what I found:

me: Are Uggs hot?

Devin: in Alaska

me: explain?

Devin: you need boots with fur in snow. Alaska has snow. Thus the boots fit the purpose and are eligible to be considered in category of "hot"

me: ok so if we lived in Alaska, and I wore Uggs, you would want me?

Devin: Uggs would not increase your hotness factor.

Still doubtful and thinking that my husband doesn’t count? More data for you:

Me: How do you feel about Uggs?

Brett: Uggly.

Me: Sweet.

Brett: Well the root of my issue with them is that we are not Eskimos....if we were....maybe it would be passable....this is south east Texas. We live in the flip flop region.

me: So if you lived in Alaska, and the Mrs. wore Uggs, you'd think that was hot?

Brett: I would make fun of them for being uggly

There it is- male proof. Proof that no one likes these boots. Why are you wearing mountain man boots with a BCBG dress? Why is that?! Why are you walking into Starbucks with your flannel pajama pants tucked into your uggs?! I think that it may be possible that if you are one of those girls who is all, “I can’t ever find a man”, or “Guys never like me”, you make want to check your closet, because odds are it’s the Uggs. Just sayin’.

My hunt for wellies didn’t have to last long, thanks to the ever-present wisdom of Ms. Allison Brooks.

Oh that I were the drop of rain

that landed on this boot.

Please…please…PLEASE YOU EXTREMELY HANDSOME SANTA!

Bring me these gumboots or I will surely die of pneumonia/H1N1 from cold, wet feet.

* I probably don’t ever sunbathe in the morning, however, I have not had coffee, and that is all I had.

** girls wear these in the rain like a bunch of dummies, hence, the relevance of the Ugg tangent.

*** do not be offended- this is only my opinion. and part of the male population.

Nineteen Minutes: A review

As stated in my previous post, this weekend I aspired to finish Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult (Shout out to future Top Gun Lauren Hugel for letting me borrow it). Ok, number one, I really like Ms. Picoult- I like her style, I like the way she researches every detail when she writes a book causing me to (gasp) learn something from her writing, and I like how she uses some of the same character names in her books. Perhaps she knows a little girl named Kate whom she promised she would include in every single novel, and now she groans as she sticks to her promise? Maybe not.

Jodi, because I know you’re reading this (uh), I totally called the end of this book. But, I will not spoil it for the others. Nineteen Minutes tells the story of a school shooting. It is eerie and scary and so on. Remember, I am not exactly great at reviewing a book. But seriously, Jodi, slow down on the language there a bit. In the rest of her books that I’ve read, language really isn’t an issue- maybe a few in 400 pages, but this one was a little excessive for me. Good book. Check it out. And now, I’m not to figure out what to read next- I am thinking Pillars of the Earth.

When the Cat is Away, the Mouse will Play!

Devin is going mountain biking this weekend in Comfort, TX, so, while he is frolicking and spooning with all of his boyfriends who wear the same clothes all weekend, this little mouse is going to have a hay day.

As if you care, here is my list of ideal, in no particular order:

1. Sleep

2. Drink wine (Thank you Mr. Coppola)

3. Finish reading Nineteen Minutes (Fantastic)

4. Start a new book…maybe this or this or this or none of those

5. Try out my new rain boots in the stormy weather this weekend (I think they’re too big :( )

6. Go to the Bayou City Art Festival (it was raining- I wasn’t in the mood)

7. Go shopping, duh. (If by shopping you mean keeping Avery happy)

This is Avery Grace.

She goes from this…

to this…

to this in about 1.2 seconds.

8. Try the spin class at our new gym (kicked my butt- I loved it)

9. Drink coffee…lots and lots of coffee (see below- I love you Empire Cafe, for your little coffee treats)

10. Watch TV shows that are not man shows (Man shows include but are not limited to any show where someone is riding/driving/jumping off of a structure, eating something disgusting, hanging out with Johnny Knoxville, putting a blow up doll on a go-cart, wake-boarding in a banana costume, etc.) (I sorta did this but I realized I don’t really like TV at all…so man show or not, I’m not that interested. I did rent “Then She Found Me”- Helen Hunt, Bette Midler…spectacular acting, dull storyline).

11. Find a new pot for my orchid

12. Play with the camera (Pictures coming soon)

13. Hit up the clubs wit my girls yall know it’s gonna be off the heezy.*

14. Wash my car, especially the wheels

15. Go to Sunday School and take extremely detailed notes on how Devin can be nicer to me. Jokes.

16. Breakfast/brunch/lunch with Lu and Nanny (and my dad)

Nanny and Lu…photography by my father.

17. Cook/bake/etc (Chicken Jambalaya, um, yum)

18. Reconstruct the blog since I managed to mutilate it today

The possibilities are endless.

And now that you have wasted 1.25 minutes of your life reading this, you can give me more suggestions for what I can/should do this weekend while the cat’s away.

Have a good weekend!

*Disregard #13, I was just trying to be in college again.