You guys, Santa is sneaking up on us like the little devil he is.
Christmas is in 65 days! 64 sleeps! I had no idea and am now in panic mode.
Wait…not really…panic mode was more like when the roach crawled across my foot and bit the crap out of me this morning and Devin wasn’t home to mutilate it. Don’t worry. I handled it as any Proverbs 31 Woman would do. Or Rachel Watters! This is irrelevant.
Christmas is right around the dad-gum corner, and if you’re like any other human being I know, you haven’t a clue what to get anyone in your family.
Cue my magnificent gift ideas. From now until Christmas, I will provide unto you heaps of suggestions for presents for the whole family (including the weird hairy guy that comes every year and expects very expensive things and we’re not even 100% sure he’s related so we just wrap up his whole underwear drawer a week before and give it to him signed from Frisky the cat…this may or may not have happened in my family).
You should be on your knees thanking the good Lord that you read my blog. All 5 of you.
THE PERFECT PRESENT #1
Don’t act like you’re not intrigued, for this thing is a true work of art. A photography genius and a beautiful and extremely talented artist (I sound like I know them or like they shot my wedding or something) teamed up with some students at Rhode Island School of Design to create the 2010 “Sex-Confident” Moustache Calendar. Don’t freak out moms who read this; here is the def for the coming year’s calendar theme:
sex-confident
[seks-kon-fi-dehnt] –adjective
1. Realistic confidence in one's power and ability to attract the opposite sex: A dignified, stylish, or simply well-worn moustache is the sign of a sex-confident male.
2. Having no uncertainty about one's own sexuality or sexiness:
A well moustachioed man is unquestionably sex-confident.
I don’t know about the other women reading this, but that definition right there makes me want to grow a stache. No? Just me? What? You just paid to have yours removed?
So, do some early shopping and check some guys off of your list! You can go here to scope out some of the calendar’s featured hairy-upper-lip models, and here to order your moustache calendar (or two).
MOUSTACHE CALENDAR PERFECT FOR: your grandpa who will look at the featured facial hair, chuckle, stick his finger in his ear, and wax the ends of his own stache; your college-aged brother (because they all tend to think facial hair is the greatest, manliest gift from God); your son who wishes he could grow facial hair; any woman who has an abnormal amount of facial hair but a great sense of humor.
Or your boyfriend's father and uncle, who have been sporting twin staches since the early 70's.
ReplyDeleteYes, Kstan, which only means you have no excuse but to purchase 2 for those fine gents. And Will...because I'd just like some video documentation when he receives something like that.
ReplyDeleteThanks Steph! That's awesome!
ReplyDelete